Dearest Sarah,
Tonight is the final night of a 28 day journey that you and I have taken together. I have thought over and over about what to write tonight, and tonight is only about you. I remember last year when you came to set up my Christmas tree, hang out, and have some Chinese with me. It was the first time that you had been to my little house to stay over with me. I remember being so excited to share a little part of my new life with you; however, the visit was bittersweet as we were both struggling. For some reason the Christmas spirit seemed so far away. When faced with a dilemma, I almost always ask you what do you want to do about it? Doing nothing is not an option, so no matter how small it may seem, the option IS to do something. Soooo we brainstormed the blogging idea as we have always talked about writing together and weaving our words in a tapestry of sorts that mirrored our worlds. It was a great idea and we delved forward eagerly. Maybe, just maybe, by the end of it, we would have just a bit more Christmas spirit.
Last year was easy . . . wasn't it! We did acts of kindness and we felt GOOD! It helped to get us outside of our own bubbles and we saw the world a bit differently as a result of that experience. However, for me the most treasured part of that was seeing you grow as a young woman and a writer. I loved reading what you wrote . . . I have always been your biggest fan! It was so amazing to see how closely our hearts are connected as the words were shaped on the pages throughout the month.
After that journey ended, we were both kind of sad. It seemed that there was something missing for a long time, but we knew that it was important to make the Christmas journey again as we moved into a new year. Who knew all of the things that would happen in our lives throughout one single year? There was so much joy as we got a new family member in Sam and so much sadness as "life" happened. . . sigh . . . Through it all there was loads and loads of love and lots and lots of conversations. There were opportunities to carry through the Christmas spirit into your year all year long and we gave what we could when we could . . . it worked Rah!
This year we knew we needed to step up our game. We needed to do more than acts of kindness . . . we needed to see, really see. Who knew how painful and difficult this would be for both of us? I know that I sure didn't!!! Each and every night posed a different challenge to make the words on the paper reflect something other than the pain and suffering that we see in our world each and every day. It was so hard to find the positive. It was so difficult to see the good side of life. The Christmas spirit seemed so far away . . . or was it?
At first I thought this journey was about finding the hope that I had lost in God's people, but for me what happened was quite different. I did get snapshots of amazing! I did get pictures of comfort and joy. I did find awesome things in the weirdest of places. I did find a bit of hope. BUT I did not find what I was looking for there. Rah I found it in you. I saw a beautifully gifted young woman, willing to sacrifice time and energy each and every night, to embark upon an unknown journey, simply because we can. I have shared conversations throughout the last month that I will treasure forever. I have waited each and every day to see what you will write . . . you are truly gifted (I knew it long before you did baby girl!). I saw the best part of your dad and me reflected in you. THAT is what gives me hope in this world.
Rah, I know that the Spirit of Christmas IS in you! I see it as soon as your eyes light up as you talk about Christmas in July. I see it as you look at animals that need your help. I see it in your posts that encourage folks to stand for something. I see it in the way you look with love at Jesse. I see it in how you love your dad, your brother and new sister in law, your nieces and nephews, and me. I see it in the beautiful way you write. I see it in how you treat others with kindness and respect. I see it in how you love and how you laugh. I see it in the way you have embraced challenges of a new job that has been difficult and exhausting. I see it Sarah, and I am so extremely PROUD! The question is . . . do YOU see what I see?
I love you more than words,
Mom
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